Like A Mother
by xmellyxox
Summary: when Rachel's having serious doubts about everything, it's Gill who is there to comfort her and look after her. hope you enjoy X


**I do actually like the Gill/Rachel idea, so this is a one shot, short fic (because that's all I have time for!) about Gill/Rachel…text at the beginning is taken from episode 2, series 3, at Rachel's wedding, with some of my own bits thrown in!**

**I don't own anything, etc etc! **

**Hope you enjoy X**

**Chapter 1:**

"I'm off" Gill said, as she approached the newly-wed.

"Thanks for coming!" Rachel said, standing up and kissing her Boss on the cheek.

Gill seemed quite unsure of what to do; she never had Rachel down as the kissy type.

"Thanks for asking me!" she replied

Rachel didn't say anything for a few seconds, which prompted Gill to ask if she was okay.

"Yeah…yeah…just-" Rachel began, before Gill interrupted her.

"You've been on a bit of an emotional roller-coaster haven't you?"

Rachel just nodded, before adding; "I never did say thanks, properly, for what you said at the hearing!"

"Yes you did" gill replied, smiling.

"No, not properly"

"Well, it was all true. Listen, I hope you'll be very happy together. You deserve something nice!"

"Yeah he's nice…very nice, he's…" Rachel turned to look at her husband

Gill noticed the uncertainty in her voice. Come to think of it, she had been acting a bit oddly…she should have been up there dancing, surely?

They watched as Sean lifted up his kilt to the other dancers. Rachel sighed and shook her head, a small smile breaking.

"A bit of a bloke?" Gill suggested

"Yeah" Rachel said, turning back to face her Boss.

"See you Monday, first thing!"

"Can't wait!" Rachel said, a massive smile sweeping across her face.

"You really ought to go on a honeymoon" Gill said, turning to walk away.

Rachel nodded and looked down at the floor, just a split second too soon. Gill turned back around and placed a hand on her wrist. "Are you sure you're ok?" she asked, looking into her eyes.

Rachel nodded and forced a smile, trying to look convincing but Gill saw straight past it. She had been a copper for twenty years, not much got past her.

"Rachel, what's wrong?"

Rachel looked up and around. Gill could see she was trying to fight back the tears. Gill pulled Rachel into a hug, and just held her there. Rachel just sniffed, and clung onto the smaller woman. Gill wasn't quite sure what to do, she always found this sort of contact awkward.

Rachel let go a few seconds after and Gill grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently. "Call me ok? If you want you can come over tomorrow night or something yeah?"

Rachel nodded and thanked her Boss again, before going to socialise with her guests.

XxxXxxX

**How are you? Do you want to come over later? G X**

**I'm honestly ok; just need someone to talk to! Yeah okay, thanks Boss x**

**No worries, Sammy's out with his mates anyway so I would only be a loner watching something like **_**who wants to be a millionaire. **_**You don't have to call me Boss either. G X**

Rachel knocked on Gill's door at half seven, fully prepared with a bottle of wine.

Gill opened the door and smiled, letting Rachel in and guiding her into the sitting room.

They sat either ends of the sofa, before Gill turned to face Rachel. She poured them each a glass of wine, and opened the blanket. "Come on, put your feet up. You look uncomfortable"

Rachel did as she was told, and snuggled under the other end of the blanket, the glass of wine in her other hand.

"What's the matter Rach?" Gill asked. She couldn't believe how much she cared about her younger DC.

"It's just everything…Dom, Alison, mum, Sean…" Rachel looked up and gave a weak smile.

"Why? What do you mean?"

"Dom, I just…he's going to spend the next 28 years banged up…I just…oh I don't know. He's my brother, I'm just…oh I don't know. Alison still feels rather cold towards me mum, and I don't blame her, but it's just things I don't want to deal with right now!"

Gill nodded, and put Rachel's left hand in between both of hers, clasping it tightly.

"Then there's me mum…well, you saw her tonight. I spent my life trying to get out of that world; scuzzy, beer-swilling, tit-flashing, shabby, shameful, shitface shallow little world…and now I've just walked right back into it! She hasn't changed, and it was foolish of me to think she had…she left us when I was 12, Ali was 16 and Dom was 10…my dad, he was an alcoholic, spent most of his days in the armchair, caressing a bottle of whisky."

"Sean's a good lad though; he'll look after you, won't he?" Gill asked, letting go of Rachel's hand and leaning across to the coffee table. She grabbed a tissue from the box and poured another glass.

Rachel sighed. "Yeah, he loves me…everyone keeps telling me, and I love him…but, it doesn't go very deep…with Sean. He was my rock when I needed him the most, and I am so grateful to him but…I know we have only been married a day but, I should never have gone through with it. He's good for a laugh, he's good for a…shag, but there's nothing more for me…oh I don't know." Rachel sighed.

Gill looked at the younger woman sympathetically. "Oh Rachel…I never knew. I'm sorry if I've been hard on you, if only you had have talked to me, I could have helped you! Give you some more leeway! Oh I feel horrible now, I've been such a bitch to you haven't I? It hasn't been easy, especially with all of this Nicholas Savage stuff..."

"No Boss-"

"Gill" she corrected her.

"No _Gill. _You have been brilliant, the best boss anyone could ask for. I know I make mistakes, I know I can be a liability and all, I know I can be a head case…I know I speak before I think but…"

"Now listen here, you are none of those things" Gill interrupted

"Oh really? I have messed up so much; I'm surprised I'm still even on MIT…"

"Rachel. You are one of the best, _best _detectives I've come across. You have so much potential, and in another 10 years I can see you in charge of your syndicate, no doubt. You just need to believe in yourself more…and just think logically a bit more. That will come with practise, hell, if I had a pound for every mistake _I've _made…"

Gill trailed off as Rachel raised her eyebrows. "And what would these be Ma'am?" she asked.

"Never you mind!" Gill replied.

Rachel smiled, and then drifted off into her own world.

She wasn't aware her Boss was calling her. "Rachel? Are you listening to me?" Gill asked

"What? Yeah, sorry…miles away"

"Sean's a good lad you know Rach. Just give it time. Marriage, it takes a while to adjust. You'll get used to it. as for your mum…I had no idea she had left you, I just assumed you didn't see her often."

"Yeah, well, her lover obviously meant more to her. She said it was because she couldn't cope, but I don't know…I just resent her in some respects. She said she had changed, and I have missed having a mother in my life all these years, but she acts more like a drunken teen…I will never be able to do this with her. I just wish I could go back to when I was 10. She used to plait my hair for school, take me shopping every Saturday, even if we didn't buy anything, we would go and look at things for birthdays or Christmas…"Rachel trailed off as her eyes filled again.

Gill felt herself soften. This poor broken woman. Underneath that entire hard exterior, she was still a broken woman, much like Gill. "Come here" Gill said, pulling Rachel's arm towards her. Rachel's head landed in Gill's lap as she sobbed. Gill was stroking her hair, letting her just cry.

Rachel sat up and wiped her face, smudging all her mascara. "I'm sorry" Rachel said quietly.

"What have you got to be sorry for?" Gill asked, putting her feet back on the floor, letting Rachel curl up next to her.

"Everything. I've blabbered so much tonight and on top of it, I'm sobbing into my Boss's lap"

"Well…there's a first for everything I suppose" Gill said, causing Rachel to smile a bit. She rested her head back on Gills shoulder, staring at the table. Gill kissed the top of her head, and sighed sympathetically.

"I wish I had a mum like you" Rachel said quietly.

Gill was on the verge of crying. Janet had told her many times, she had a mothering quality about her when it came to Rachel, and it's because they are so similar, but she refused to believe it.

"No you don't" Gill said.

Rachel sat up and looked at Gill and gave a weak smile. "It's true. Even now my mother's all about the drink. Proud to say she has a daughter, but couldn't give a stuff about my life really. I've seen a different side to you this last week, a side I never knew was there. Now I understand why Sammy wants to be like you. I want to be like you."

She was just about to respond when the doorbell rang. She was quite glad actually, because she wasn't entirely sure what she would have said back. Rachel seemed so scared and alone. She had never imagined the young constable to be like this. She really did care about her.

"Who's that?" Rachel asked. She wasn't aware Gill had company tonight.

"It's the food" Gill said, hopping up.

"What food?" Rachel asked.

"Our food! I've ordered us Pizza; I thought you'd be hungry. I even ordered some wedges and garlic bread" Gill said, walking out of the living room. Rachel got up as well and walked into the kitchen, looking for another bottle of wine to go with the tea.

Ten minutes later, they were back on the sofa. The mood had changed completely, and they were laughing about office antics…and Kevin in particular. They had got through another bottle of wine; both of them were way over the limit. Rachel had text Sean saying she would be home tomorrow and that she was staying at Gill's.

Gill had made up the spare little bed and put a fresh towel and a glass of water on the bedside table for Rachel. She had also put a sick bucket at the end of the bed…just in case.

"Thank you so much for this. tonight…it's been lovely" Rachel said, as she climbed into bed.

Gill just nodded, and pulled the duvet over Rachel, as she curled up into a ball. It reminded her of when she used to tuck Sammy into bed when he was about 7. She tapped Rachel's shoulder and whispered a goodnight, before turning the light off and partially closing the door behind her.

Gill lay in bed, and hour later, looking up at the ceiling, just thinking. She had no idea things were so bad with Rachel. She hadn't helped. She really had been Godzilla the past few months. She had given Rachel a proper bollocking over all the Nick Savage stuff, when, in reality, it went so much deeper than that.

Gill held her breath for a few seconds. She thought she heard a noise, but it was too quiet to hear properly. She slid out of bed and opened her bedroom door slowly and looked out onto the landing. It was coming from the spare room. Gill pushed the door open gently and saw Rachel, head in her knees, sobbing.

"Oh Rachel" Gill said, rushing over to her. She sat down next to her, and pulled her close, hugging her tight.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" Rachel sobbed.

"Shush, shush, shush, it's okay" Gill said, stroking her hair. "It's okay. Come on, you can sleep with me tonight." Gill walked Rachel into her room and sat on the bed. Gill rushed into her en suite and grabbed the box of tissues.

She slid into bed next to Rachel, who was now on her side, drifting off to sleep. Gill sat there for a while, just watching her. She didn't care how old Rachel was; she needed someone to look after her…Gill felt it was her duty to.

She turned off the lamp and slid under the duvet, turning on her side. It was like when Sammy used to have bad dreams. Dave used to have to sleep in his room, whilst he slept with Gill, and all his many cuddly toys.

"I'll look after you Rach" Gill whispered, before drifting off to sleep….


End file.
